I never looked for any of this. I didn’t want love or need… didn’t want to have this feeling of needing someone.
I wanted to feel young, like a teenager, to do stupid stuff even though I’m old enough to know better.
And I fucking hate to have to listen about you, and what you said and me not being around you. But most of all I hate this feeling, this painful feeling, to lose something before even having it. I always relay on my logic, on stuff to happen for a reason and to have consequences according to logical results which were expected. So how come it can hurt so much to lose something which wasn’t yours to even start with. No common sense in that.
And now I just wish nothing of that happened, I wish I never knew you the way I do.
But since that’s not possible, I just want to escape. I want to break free. Free, from this fucking prison, being captured in my own mind where there is no place for me.
