answerless...

     Do you ever get that annoying feeling when you don’t know what to do with yourself? Do you ever feel sick and tired of the whole universe but yet you still don’t give up, you keep on even though subconsciously you kind of get the impression that you’re going straight to a wall, head first. I do. And for a week or so I just can’t seem to have any other feeling. Can’t hide from it, can’t run from it cause it’s becoming part of me. I fucking hate it!

     I want you to disappear from my life and at the same time I want you to notice when I’m not around.  Can you at least tell me how you feel, or do you feel anything for me?

     I’m so close of being done with you and once I turn my back on there will be no coming back. I feel exhausted from sitting in the silence and listening to the fight between my heart and my head. When will I learn when to stop and when to quit?

     I can’t seem to make up my mind. Do I want you? Do I want to be with you? Do you want me? Could we have had something real? Could we have had so much more? I really don’t have a clue! But why was I so fucking afraid to even try. At least I would have known. Because the pain is here either way, waiting to teach me a lesson once again.

     Thorn apart. That’s what I am. Thorn apart.

My head says move on, keep walking, it’s not worth it. But my heart screams NO!!! hang on just a bit. And now can you tell me: Is it worth it? Is it?!